Watching the Clock

Here’s the funny thing about anticipation: it never leaves. It keeps building and building as the days go by, driving you utterly insane. It’s like time cannot go by any slower, the hours will not speed up, and days feel like forever.

I have done everything in my power to distract myself from the gnawing sensation of my impatience, from writing to studying Korean, but nothing helps. I mean, why can’t it be the middle of August already? Why do I have 4 more work days? Why can’t I be done now?

In the meantime, though, I have been working on my exchange blog that I will be updating while I am over in Korea for the fall semester. I feel like having that space to share my life and my adventures through text, photos, and videos will really be rewarding at the end of my adventure. Something for not only my friends and family to enjoy, but also a way for me to preserve that experience for myself, so that in, say, 10 years I have something to look back on to refresh the memories. I want my life to be memorable, so I will do whatever it takes to make that come true.

Until next time,

Jasmine

p.s.

Here’s the link to my exchange blog: somethingseoulful

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Two more weeks, just two more weeks.

The difference between my life right now and my life before is the Cold War versus a day at Disneyland. Before, things were happening. Life was bright, exciting, and memories flourished. Now, here I am, sitting here, waiting for something, hell, anything to happen. I only have a number of days left in this suburban wasteland where mediocrity and racism prevail, but I feel like these hours, these weeks are dragging. Time is holding back from me, refusing to give me what I so incredibly yearn for: freedom.

The anticipation of arriving home and sleeping in on my own bed has driven me to the point of excessive packing. I am literally living out of my suitcase, unable to tame the mad thoughts of “two more weeks, just two more weeks” from creeping into my every waking hour. It’s hard. I don’t really know how to combat this type of longing. But maybe, somewhere hidden in these next few days of working and planning, I will finally find peace.

(but most likely I’ll just have to wait until I am safely on that air plane, with the destination of Vancouver, BC, flashing on the screen in front of me.)

Until next time,

Jasmine

Full Plate

Back from camp. Now that’s a sentence I thought I’d never say, due to the immediate fact that camp seemed to stretch on for an exhausting period of time. But it’s over now, and I’m peacefully back in the comfort of my own blankets and warmth. Ah–nothing like the comforts of home.

Recently, life has been progressing in ways that I could never have imagined. I got my full funding for student loans for the fall, a sight I never saw coming. My best friend retrieved my acceptance package from the grip of my school’s exchange department. Despite a few setbacks (like said friend writing the wrong address on the package upon attempting to mail it to my mother), things when I returned from a stressful four day camping trip with work seem to be working out. All is in order. Plus, as an added bonus, the dresses I ordered for my cousin’s wedding arrived and I have selected my attire for the affair. Oh, how I love the feeling of new clothing against my skin. It’s my favourite thing.

Until next time,

Jasmine

It’s all coming together…

Finally! FINALLY. My acceptance package to Ewha has arrived at my university and, despite some complications with the destination of that package, the pieces of my exchange are slowly falling into place. My uni submitted the final portion of my student loan application, which I need for my visa. My mum is on board to submit my application at the end of the month. I only have 29 more days of working and living in this hick town. It’s all coming up roses, my friends.

So why am I still stressed? I guess it’s just the fact that yes, things are coming together, but they are not firmly sealed or locked into place. The puzzle isn’t fully completed yet. There are still gaps, still missing chips that haven’t found their home yet. And that irritates me. It stresses me out, to the point where I feel like nothing has been accomplished. Is that wrong of me? Does that make me a perfectionist? I hope not.

I hope that in the next few weeks I can just get all my bits and bobs finalized and have this thing planned out. I want to be on that plane already, flying over the clouds, and nervous with anticipation for what is to come once that 737 lands on foreign soil. I am ready for adventure and I crave it more than anything.

Until next time,

Jasmine

The Future

Hello, beautiful world

It’s been ages since I’ve updated and you know what? That makes me a little sad. 

I’ve missed writing fashion, scanning blogs for inspiration, and forming an opinion on the latest trends. But I’ve been so attached to my school work and my grads that blogging, for the most part, has taken the back burner. I know, it’s sad. But my future is what’s most important.

With that in mind, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I want to do with my life. The goal is still to be the editor-in-chief of Vogue–I’m never letting that go–but how I’m getting there has changed. I want to start writing for SFU’s newspaper in a fashion section, but I just don’t know if I’m a fit for it. Maybe I’m just over-thinking this. The point of the matter is that I want to write fashion: it’s in my blood. I just don’t know how to get there. Do I continue running my blog? Should I start doing YouTube? Do I write for the newspaper? Do I do all of the above? It’s so difficult to know. The future is so uncertain, and I wish it wasn’t so. I don’t want to be left in the dark; knowing is what keeps my sane. I just wish I had a magic book that would show me what to do and where to go in order to make my dream a reality. That, or a chance encounter with the editor of some fashion magazine who falls in love with my style and insists I work for her (Carrie Diaries, anyone?). But somehow, I don’t see that happening any time in the near future.

It’s now 12:00 am and I’m still sitting here, in my residence common room, having a quarter life crisis. Well, crisis might be too theatrical a word for it, but you get the picture. Fashion is in my blood and I want to spend the rest of my life studying it, analyzing it, and reveling in it. I cannot see myself continuing on any other way. Journalism in fashion is my calling, I believe, and I just want to push it to its full potential.

 I apologize for making this post a semi-rant/frustrated ramble. I’m glad I could get that off my chest, finally. 

Until next time,

Jasmine.